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People often have very stringent rules about how they tip in restaurants, and I am one of them. Growing up in the restaurant business, I know that servers depend on tips. It’s not just supplemental income, it IS their income. However, like any job, one has to earn their income, right?
I used to spend my summers working with management at some of my family’s more “resort-y” restaurants to train servers. It was a blast, and I worked with some of the most interesting and fun people ever. But, as a trainer, I was a hard ass. Cell phones were to be nowhere in sight, drinks were always full, orders were correct, and the guests were happy with their food.
Lately, I have found that the service industry in general is not as high of a caliber as it used to be… Why is this? I have about a million theories that are a post for another time, but here I’ve written my rules for tipping from someone who is definitely “in the know.”
You do not have to tip 20%. This is the standard tip measure, but again, a server has to earn it. Here is my criteria for a 20% tip:
- Server cheerfully greets the table within 2-3 minutes of guests sitting down. Absolutely nothing is more infuriating for me than sitting down and waiting eons to put my drink order in. This sets the tone for the rest of the experience. However, also take in to consideration the fact that the server might have not been informed by the host stand that they have received a table. Judge the situation, but if they’d just being lazy, you’re within your rights to lower the tip percentage. Also, if they’re rude, they absolutely do not deserve a full tip.
- Soft drink orders come out (and are re-filled!) in a timely manner. I make the discrepancy because, at most restaurants, alcoholic beverages come from the bar, and therefore the timeliness is not within the server’s control. Soft drinks, however, are almost always poured and delivered by the server, so they’re within their responsibility to get them to you on time.
- Appetizers and entrees come out appropriately spaced apart. When you order appetizers, the server should send that order back to the kitchen immediately and then hold your entree order. If she sends them back all at once, it is likely the food will come out all at once. For me, this is communicating, “Hurry up and eat so you can free up this table.” Not cool.
- Server should return about two minutes after each order comes out to ensure that is it satisfactory. Did you get ranch instead of blue cheese? Or is your mixed drink order wrong? These are all things you don’t want to have to wait to correct.
- Dishes are “pre-bussed” and the table is completely clear by the time the check comes. I was such a stickler on this when I was training servers. If you (the guest) have to juggle dishes to make space to sign your check, that’s a problem.
- Check is delivered, run, and returned in a timely manner. When I’m ready to leave a restaurant, I’m ready to leave a restaurant. Delivering the check and getting guests on their merry way is advantageous not only to the guests (who are ready to leave), but also to the server so she can get a new table.
Obviously, things need to be taken on a case-by-case basis.. There have been times in which the service was terrible, but there was a good reason for it (a colleague of theirs called out sick last minute; there was an obvious debacle with another table, etc.). If they’re apologetic and explain the situation, I might still give them a 20% tip.
If I’m tipping less than 20% (which, trust me, does happen), I always try to explain to the server why. If the server is nowhere to be found, I’ll leave a note, itemizing the exact reasons why they did not earn a 20% tip. If the service is awful, I will tip as little as 5%-10%, and maybe even alert a manager. I do this not to get the person fired, but so that they can improve next time, and therefore earn more money.
Reasons to Tip More Than 20%
Now that I’ve pointed out the standard of service, and what is reasonable to expect, here are some reasons to tip more than 20%.
- The server offers menu and drink suggestions, including dessert. When I come to a new restaurant, I want to know the best things to get. If the server tells me his or her favorites, I am happy to have the decision be easier for me. Also, offering dessert suggests that they’re not in a rush to get you out of the restaurant.
- You ordered water. Yup, that’s right.. Whether you order water or another beverage, it requires the same amount of work for the server. Tip as if you ordered a soft drink.
- You are there on a discount night. Notorious for this are things like $5 Burger Night or 50¢ wing night. Again, it takes the same amount of work for a server to bring discounted food, ensure everything is OK, bring necessary condiments, etc. for discounted food as it does full-priced food. Tip as if you were paying full price for the menu items.
- You sit at the table for a long time after you’re finished eating and you do not order more food or drinks. This in general is not good practice. If you are finished eating and drinking, free up the table for more guests. Again, the server depends on tips for his or her income, and can only make so much money in the table section that they have. If you end up staying long past your meal, add more money to the tip to offset the fact that you’re preventing other guest from sitting down and buying more food.
As someone who knows and loves the restaurant business and has worked in various facets of it, I know what it can and should be. Do you always tip 20%? Why or why not?
“If you end up staying long past your meal, add more money to the tip to offset the fact that you’re preventing other guest from sitting down and buying more food.”
No, sorry, but tips are for ***SERVICE** ONLY, NOT so you cannot do **ANYTHING MORE** for that tip. That’s not what a tip is. It’s for **SERVICE’S RENDERED**, NOT for just “sitting” and certainly not because the customers are preventing other customers from sitting that may not tip anyways. That’s not what a tip is for.
“If the server tells me his or her favorites, I am happy to have the decision be easier for me. ”
I’m not, because I am not a person that wants to know the server’s taste unless I ***ASK*** for it. I HATE when servers tell you their opinions about something. Especially when you have ordered that item a ZILLION TIMES BEFORE, it’s a **TIME WASTER**.
“Again, it takes the same amount of work for a server to bring discounted food, ensure everything is OK, bring necessary condiments, etc. for discounted food as it does full-priced food. Tip as if you were paying full price for the menu items.”
Sorry, but that’s the point that you have made that since it does take the same amount of time, it should be on what the current price **IS* NOW**, that means if it’s happy hour, that’s why you have more people in there in the first place, so it’s only ********FAIR************ if we tip based on OUR MONEY TOO TO CARE ABOUT, NOT JUST THE SERVER’S MONEY!
Especially things like this: “$5 Burger Night or 50¢ wing night.” The reason why there are so many more customers is because of the “SALE PRICES” and really these are not “discounts” these are ********SALE PRICES*******, NOT TRUE HONEST DISCOUNTS.
The **REAL PRICE** is the price that is **CURRENT** and that is the price to tip off of, NOT the price when it’s not on “sale.”
When prices go up due to ****INFLATION*********, we ALL PAY HIGHER in the tip due to the higher prices, so WHY NOT MAKE THINGS **********FAIR************* to customers, NOT just SERVERS that when the prices go higher we tip higher, when the prices are lowered we tip lower. IT’S ************ONLY FAIR************* and you know it! It’s not fair for it to ALWAYS be in the server’s favor, it’s not.
Certain discounts I will agree with you on **ONLY** if the service was good and the reason why you got to discount was NOT due to the server. If it was due to the server, it depends on what it was and if it was **THEM** to ask their manager to comp something vs. you, the customer had to complain to get the free item or discounted item. Basically did they **CARE** about you is my point whether or not the tip will be greatly affected.
For example, if the discount is “A free appetizer with the purchase of 2 entrées”, then the server should get the tip as if you didn’t have a coupon if the service as good. However, in the situation as I said with the $5 burger special or if it’s a coupon that has “$4 off 2 entrées” then that’s LOWERING the price of the item like a “SALE” price. Then you will go by AFTER the discount. It’s only fair. As you said it takes the same amount of time and effort, so WHY would you pay MORE? You say why would you pay less, but why would you pay MORE if the price is lower? A sale price is that, a sale price and that means the customer should be able to go by that sale price. However, if it’s a “free appetizer” or $10 off your entire check, then you would tip on BEFORE the discount as long as the service wasn’t horrible since that IS a discount, the other things are NOT discounts honestly, they are more like **SALE PRICES**, NOT discounts. Even the $4 off of 2 entrées are basically taking the prices and making it $2 off each entrée.
Make things **FAIR** when the prices go higher we tip higher, so when the prices go lower, we should be able to do the **SAME EXACT THING**. Why be UNFAIR and it ALWAYS be in the server’s favor money? Our money counts too, NOT JUST THE SERVER’S MONEY!
Just as you want people to pay their server longer because they are just sitting, that’s not service and it’s totally 100% ********UNFAIR********* to pay for things you aren’t **RECEIVING****** and to pay for “other customer’s possible tips” that may or may not even happen. Since when do people tip based on other customers that aren’t even there yet, huh? That makes no sense, does it? Do you pay for things you don’t receive? If you do, you are dumb.
“Do you always tip 20%? Why or why not?”
No, sometimes 30% or more when it’s extremely wonderful, other times anything under 20% including completely stiffing to 10% to 8% to 12%, etc. It depends on the service. Just today, a waitress served me and my husband literally BURNT where you can see it appetizer. She claimed she was only there a week and I asked how old she was, she said 23yrs, now, come on now, I was thinking, this can’t be her first job or something I would think that she wouldn’t know what something BURNT looks like. She didn’t apologize about it until I had told her about it after we paid for **SERVING IT BURNT**. She claimed she didn’t know what it was supposed to look like, well, I did tell her it’s on the internet what it’s supposed to look like. It is******HER JOB*** to KNOW WHAT THE FOOD IS SUPPOSED to look like and also that some of them weren’t black(these were garlic bites) and some were brown, now why would something that is all the same supposed to be different colors, like DUH, stupid waitress. I didn’t tip. A good, decent **CARING** human being would have REFUSED to serve it and came to our table to say “The cooks burnt and overcooked some of your appetizer, would you want them to remake another batch for you?” Then, also she could have asked the manager to comp it since we had to wait double long for it. She also took around 5 minutes to take our food orders and we were the ONLY customers there.
So yeah, sometimes a tip is not deserved. Even I told my mom about this story(I am married and 40yrs old), and she said “Yeah as if she couldn’t tell something was burnt when it was black.” I mean really, INHUMAN.
>Also, if they’re rude, they absolutely do not deserve a full tip.>
Really, rude servers should deserve NO TIP at all, HONESTLY!
“Dishes are “pre-bussed” and the table is completely clear by the time the check comes. I was such a stickler on this when I was training servers. If you (the guest) have to juggle dishes to make space to sign your check, that’s a problem.”
100% TOTALLY DISAGREE with you on this. When we want our check, the customers don’t want you take time doing things you can do **AFTER*. They want you to get their check. You can ALWAYS hand it to the customer and then start taking dirty dishes. It takes a LONG TIME to stack up dishes and bring them to the kitchen. I cannot stand when I have even corrected servers at times saying “Could you please get our check instead and get these after.” It’s A HUGE TIME WASTER for the customer that wants to F’ING LEAVE! It’s also wasting time for the server that wants to “turn n’ burn” tables. If you do it the way I am saying, you come back after you have came from the kitchen to ring up the check. You gave the customer time to read their check and get their method of payment out. Doing it the other way causes the customers to sit and sit *******VERY UNNECESSARILY*******.
Get what the customer ask FIRST. That’s your GOAL is to do what they ask BEFORE doing other tasks that they don’t ask, but it will need to get done not as much of a priority as the check is. That goes with anything. If I ask for a box for my items and the check. I have had servers get the box, then make me wait while they take a party of 4’s order to get the check, it’s like UGHHHH. So I sit and sit waiting to even get the f’ing check. It’s irritating. A good server would get both items in one trip and if they couldn’t for some reason(maybe they are delivering other things for another table in their hand), then maybe either A put the check in their apron pocket or B, do it in a separate trip, but going in the order of TURNS.”
“You ordered water. Yup, that’s right.. Whether you order water or another beverage, it requires the same amount of work for the server. Tip as if you ordered a soft drink.”
This one I do agree with only because if you have like 3 refills of water, but if it’s only one person’s items, it’s not going to add but 50 cents to every 20% check. For every $5 added to a check, it’s $1 more the server makes, so if it is just one water, you really are just looking at making 50 extra cents or 2 waters a dollar more, although it would add up if every table did this I agree. I agree just because it’s work for the server and that to me SHOULD get paid for unlike you RIDICULOUS excuse “you’re preventing other guest from sitting down and buying more food.” A person ***DOING PHYSICAL LABOR******* should get paid more, NOT someone that isn’t doing anything more for you. Sorry, but NO, I am not going to pay if I sat and stayed chit chatting. That’s not what a tip is for, it’s for SERVICE. We have tipped more when we were offered refills to-go before for example, because that’s more work.
“The server offers menu and drink suggestions, including dessert. ”
That’s the server’s job to upsell, so it’s not like they are doing anything for you special, so this truly doesn’t count for anything in the tip. If anything, it’s quite **ANNOYING** when you KNOW what you want and the server is talking so you can’t just simply order and get your food or the check(if you don’t want a dessert) quicker.
“When I come to a new restaurant, I want to know the best things to get”
But their opinion is THEIRS. It’s not mine. I don’t really care what they think in most cases. Now, sometimes I have asked if there were any reviews on such-n-such item or voluntarily say “We have never been here before, is such-n-such good?” I have before taken a server’s opinion, not liked the side dish I got. I didn’t send it back, but I should have though since I was unhappy with it. Also, usually servers tend to want you to buy the most expensive item, not to truly be honest as to what taste the best.
” However, also take in to consideration the fact that the server might have not been informed by the host stand that they have received a table.”
I don’t agree with this at all, because they have **EYES** and KNOW THEIR **SECTION** they are being sat with, so they need to look around and notice what is going on. Texting in the kitchen because they didn’t know they were sat is BS. They should be watching for that stuff and not playing around. It’s called being responsible.
Thanks for this well thought out reply. I appreciate you taking the time.